OTHER CHRISTMAS DAY JOKES COLLECTION 2017

OTHER CHRISTMAS DAY JOKES COLLECTION:

What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?
Claustrophobic.

Why does Santa have 3 gardens?
So he can  ho-ho-ho.

Why was Santa’s little helper depressed?
Because he had low elf esteem.

What do you call an elf who sings?
A Wrapper!

What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Frostbite.

What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
Ice Crispies.

 

What’s red and white and gives presents to good little fish on CHRISTMAS?
Sandy Claws.

What do you get when you cross an archer with a gift-wrapper?
Ribbon hood.

Never catch snowflakes on your tongue until until all the birds have gone south for the winter!

What do you get when you combine a CHRISTMAS tree with an iPad?

A pineapple!

What did Adam say on the day before CHRISTMAS?

“It’s CHRISTMAS, Eve!”

  1. What do you get if you cross mistletoe and a duck?
    A. A CHRISTMAS Quacker.
  2. What do call Santa when he stops moving?
    A. Santa Pause!
  3. Where does a snowman keep his money?
    A. In a snow bank.
  4. Why do mummies like CHRISTMAS so much?
    A. Because of all the wrapping!

Why is CHRISTMAS just like your job?

You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit!

-Knock knock
*Who’s there?
-Mary!
*Mary who?
-Merry CHRISTMAS
Knock, knock
Who’s there?
Chris!
Chris who?
CHRISTMAS!!!!
Q: What do you call Frosty the Snowman in May?
A: A puddle!

Q: Where do reindeer go to dance?
A: CHRISTMAS balls!

Q: If Frosty the Snowman married a vampire,what would they name their child?
A: Frostbite!!
Q: What’s red, white and blue at CHRISTMAS time?
A: A sad candy cane!
Q: What did Mary Poppins want from Santa?
A: Supercalifragilistic­expialisnowshoes!
Q: Who hides in the bakery at CHRISTMAS?
A: A mince spy!
Q: What CHRISTMAS song is hidden in the alphabet:

“A B C D E F G H I J K M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z”?

A: Noel (No “L”)
An honest politician, a kind lawyer and Santa Claus were talking when they all noticed a $5 bill on the floor. Who picked it up?

Santa of course, the other two don’t exist!

This CHRISTMAS, in lieu of gifts, I’ve decided to give everyone my opinion!

How does Santa sing the alphabet?

A B C D E F G…
H I J K L M N
Oh!, Oh!, Oh!,
P Q R S T U V W X Y Z!

Knock Knock,
Who’s there?
Hanna!
Hanna who?
Hanna partridge in a pear tree!

Q: Where does Santa sleep when he’s traveling?

A: In a Ho, Ho, Hotel!

 

It’s a romantic full moon, when Pedro said, “Hey, mamacita, let’s do Weeweechu.”

Oh no, not now, let’s look at the moon!” said Rosita.

Oh, c’mon baby, let’s you and I do Weeweechu. I love you and it’s the perfect time,” Pedro begged.

“But I wanna just hold your hand and watch the moon.” replied Rosita.

Please, corazoncito, just once, do Weeweechu with me.”

Rosita looked at Pedro and said, “OK, one time, we’ll do Weeweechu.”

Pedro grabbed his guitar and they both sang…..

“Weeweechu a Merry CHRISTMAS, Weeweechu a Merry CHRISTMAS, Weeweechu a Merry CHRISTMAS, and a Happy New Year.”

 

……………….WISH YOU ALL A MERRY CHRISTMAS…………….

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