How did Santa Claus open the front door? — He used a tur-key

Conor age 4 and a half from New Zealand

What do you get when is CHRISTMAS in a Bakery? — A miss spy

Aoife, age 7, who lives in Wellington, New Zealand:

What did the T-Rex say when it was CHRISTMAS Eve? — Merry T-Rexmas

What do you get if you cross an apple with a CHRISTMAS Tree?      – A pineapple!

Sent in by Charley aged 7 from Dublin

Who delivers presents to baby sharks at CHRISTMAS?    – Santa Jaws!

CHRISTMAS cracker joke

Lotti: knock, knock

Maddie: Who’s there?

Lotti: Dexter

Maddie: Dexter who?

Lotti: Dexter halls with boughs of holly, fa la la la laaa, la, la, la, laaaaa!!!!

What kind of motorbike does Santa ride?    – A Holly Davidson!

CHRISTMAS cracker joke

What do you call Santa’s little helpers?     – Subordinate clauses!

CHRISTMAS cracker joke

What do you get if you cross Santa with a duck?    – A CHRISTMAS Quacker!

CHRISTMAS cracker joke

What is the best CHRISTMAS present in the world?   – A broken drum, you just can’t beat it!

CHRISTMAS cracker joke

Why don’t dogs make good dancers ?   – Because they have two left feet!

CHRISTMAS cracker joke


Why is it so cold at CHRISTMAS?    – Because it is in DecemBrrrr

Sent in by Sally Ann aged 6

What do you call Santa Claus on a beach?    – Sandy Claus!

Sent in by Amy aged 9

Who gives presents to baby sharks?  – Santa Jaws!

Sent in by Jason aged 6

What do you get if you eat CHRISTMAS decorations ?  – Tinsel itis..

Sent in by Samuel age 7, Meath

What’s white and goes up?     – A Confused snowflake !

Sent in by Charley age 10, Meath

What does the Turkey eat at CHRISTMAS?  – Nothing  cos he’s stuffed!

Sent in by Carl aged 5, Laois

Why does Santa have three gardens?    – So he can Ho Ho Ho

Sent in by Anne age 9, Galway

What is green, white, and red all over?    – A sunburnt elf

Send in by James age 9, Dublin

What do you call an old snowman ?     – Water

Sent in by Mark age 7 from Cork

Where do snowmen go to dance?    – A snow ball!

Sent in by Charley, Galway


What do monkeys sing at CHRISTMAS?

-Jungle bells, jungle bells!

What do snowmen eat for breakfast?

-Frosted flakes!

What do you call Santa Claus’s dog?

-Santa Paws !!!

What do elves learn at elf school?

-The elfabet !!!

Who says “oh oh oh” ?

-Santa walking backwards !!



How many presents can Santa fit into an empty sack?

-Only one – after that it is not empty any more !!

What’s a child’s favourite king at CHRISTMAS?

-A stoc King !!!

What’s an ig?

-An Eskimo’s house without a loo !!!

Why don’t reindeer like penguins?

-Because they can’t take the wrapper off !!


How does a cow say Merry CHRISTMAS?


What do you call Santa Claus when he doesn’t move?

-Santa Pause!



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