Adult CHRISTMAS Jokes 2017

Adult CHRISTMAS Jokes:

Enjoy sending the adult CHRISTMAS jokes and dirty CHRISTMAS jokes with your adult friends……so here in this article I am going to write

Why is CHRISTMAS just like a day at the office ?You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.

  • What do you call a snowman in the summer?
    A puddle.
    What do you call a snowman in the tropics?
  • Your mum is so fat that I took a picture of her
    last CHRISTMAS and its still printing!
  • CHRISTMAS light displays are the freestyle rap battles of the suburbs.
  • Why doesn’t Santa have any children?
    He only comes one a year, and that’s down the chimney.
  • Why is Santa Claus always so happy? Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.
  • What do the female reindeer do when Santa takes the male reindeer out on CHRISTMAS Eve ?They go into town, and blow a few bucks.
  • What did the big candle say to the little candle?I’m going out tonight!
  • What do angry mice send to each other at CHRISTMAS?Cross mouse cards!
  • What does Father CHRISTMAS write on his CHRISTMAS cards?A –
  • Where do mistletoe go to become famous?
    “Holly” wood!
  • Why are women’s breasts like a train set a kid gets at CHRISTMAS time ?
    Because they were originally made for children but the father wants to play with them.
  • How are a CHRISTMAS tree and a priest alike ?
    They both have ornamental balls
  • What happened when Guy ate the CHRISTMAS decorations?
    A. He went down with tinsel-itis.
  • What’s the difference between snowmen and snowladies ?Snowballs.
  • Why did the snowman have a smile on his face ?Because the snowblower was coming down the block.
  • How did the chickens dance at the CHRISTMAS party?Chick to chick!
  • What do monkeys sing at CHRISTMAS?Jungle Bells, Jungle bells!
  • What’s easier to make: a snowman or a snowwoman??A snowwoman is easier to make, ’cause with a snowman you have to hollow out the head and pack all that extra snow into balls to make its testicles!!
  • On the first Xmas, the first of three Wise Men stepped carefully into the stable but sank his golden slipper into a big pile of manure.”Jesus Christ!” he yelled.The woman beside the manger turned to her husband and said, “Now, Joseph, isn’t that a better name for the kid than Irving?”




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